A Reflection as a Mom in Canada

Today, I want to talk about double standards. And more than just talk, I need to vent… 😔 and maybe find someone here who can help me make sense of it. Personally, I have a serious problem with double standards.

So, what is a double standard? Simply put, it’s when a person (or group) applies two different standards to judge similar situations, usually benefiting themselves or their group, while criticizing others for doing the exact same thing.

And why does this affect me so much? Because it’s inconsistent. Because many actions are justified solely out of convenience.

As a mom, especially of teenagers, I find it very difficult to accept certain “privileges” granted to minors in this wonderful country. I clearly remember the first time I experienced that shock: during a medical appointment with my 14-year-old child, the pediatrician asked me to leave the room because children over the age of 12 have the right to privacy with their doctor.😲

Before diving deeper, let me share some of these rights:

1. In Ontario, 16- and 17-year-olds are still minors (the age of majority is 18), but the law gives them much more autonomy than younger teens. Still, the legal age to consume alcohol and access certain venues is 19.
2. Even though they are minors, at 16 they can make many decisions on their own. The law no longer treats them as young children and gives them more control.
3. At 16 or 17, they can leave home without it being illegal. The police usually won’t force them to return unless there’s a safety concern. Parents still have financial responsibility, but not the same level of control.
4. Before 16, the state intervenes more easily. At 16–17, teens have more power to decide whether they want help. More freedom… but also less automatic protection.
5. In medical matters, at 16 they can usually accept or refuse treatment if they understand the consequences.
6. At 16, they can legally work.
7. They must attend school until age 18 or graduate, although truancy can lead to consequences.
8. They remain under the youth justice system (not the adult system in most cases).
9. The age of sexual consent in Canada is 16, under certain conditions.

And this is where my conflict begins:

• At 16, a teenage girl can go to a doctor and request certain treatments (including terminating a pregnancy) without parental consent, BUT she cannot get a piercing or a tattoo without it.
• At 15, a teen can leave home, BUT cannot legally consume alcohol or cannabis (and no, I’m not promoting either).
• A 10-year-old child may be allowed to make important decisions about their gender identity and receive hormonal treatments, and if a parent disagrees, they may risk losing custody, BUT that same child cannot vote until 18 or drive until 16.
• In school, children can choose how they want to be addressed, BUT parents must authorize something as simple as a field trip, even if it’s just to the local church.

And this is only when it comes to children’s rights… something that deeply impacts me as a mother💔. I’m not even getting into more controversial topics, such as inconsistencies in the justice system, privileges certain groups may have over Canadian citizens, or issues around homophobia and the LGBT+ lobby.

I know that by saying this, I open myself up to criticism…that I’m “old-fashioned,” that times have changed… But if a child isn’t mature enough to choose a prime minister, they are certainly not mature enough to change their sex. Period.

But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed: human development. The frontal lobe (the part of the brain responsible for judgment, decision-making, and emotional control), fully matures between the ages of 20 and 25. Our children are still developing.

That’s why, as parents, we need to be more intentional and firm in guiding them. We shouldn’t be afraid to take responsibility and make the right decisions for them when necessary.

And as a society, we need more consistency.
❌Let’s not normalize double standards.
❌Let’s not fall into hypocrisy.
❌And let’s not allow the pressure of certain groups to confuse our children.

Good luck, and may God bless you! 💗

📸 Photo by Freepik